The Care Program

From my journal on February 19, 2010
"'Give God the only thing God wants, our hear contrite and humble, meek and peaceful, kind and just.' -This is a quote from today's reflection by Bert Thelen S.J. from Creighton University. I have been anxious lately worried about selling our house, finding financing for our new home, and just money in general. I have not been able to concentrate on my prayer or put myself in God's presence. Yesterday I subbed at Hilltop Elementary in a special education program called CARE. These are children who are multiply handicapped; one profoundly autistic, another born with no eyes, all very limited intellectually and physically. Only one of the children was able to walk. The teachers goals are modest; for one speaking a word, for another standing up on his own. Being able to associate the weather out doors with a correct picture is a big achievment. The conditions they live with are accidents of birth, unexpected and life changing for their parents in ways mothers and fathers never expect or prepare for. I suspect that for some the sorrow, the cost and dedication required for care, make the families stonger. Others may abandon their children and run away. I see myself in both responses; part of me wanted to run away from my one day job, while another part of me wanted to devote my life to these boys so challenged."

My Reflections Today, April 7, 2011
As I look over this journal entry and think about the invocation to act with justice and kindness, I think, what about me? I am distracted by my own personal issues, money, moving, adjusting to life changes of my own. A simple prayer is hard for me -unless it is to petition something for me. I go to school and find these children, who are struggling to do the best they can with what they've got. They have good days and bad, good moments and bad. Sometimes they are happy and sometimes angry. Their parents however can't just turn inward and martial their resources to get through. They need a community. The need extraordinary health care, and focused and individualized education and family social support and maybe special equipment. I wonder who sees to justice and kindness for them. I don't. I don't act unless it I can identify with the scope of the problem and the powerlessness it creates. I can send money for Earthquake aid or Tsunami aid but I don't think about those who are overwhelmed everyday and need funding but also expertise.

I think about this a lot these days as our state legislature and federal government looks to reduce deficits and cut spending. And I wonder who is going to be left out and what I would do if I had to set the priorities. I am thinking of alot of people but when I came across my journal entry and consider the things on my mind on that day, over a year ago, I hope our legislators remember that everything can't be solved by a market and some problems are to big to just suck it up and adjust. And some problemes are to to big for an extended family or neighborhood to rally around.

Who best looks after the things we/or enough of us don't think about? Who takes care of the things out of our site and out of our minds? What is kind and just? How do I take care of myself? Is kindess and justice taking care of myself and minimizing my cost to society? Is kindness and justice deciding what I think is right and making contributions based on my interests on faith in a self organizing and just sytem? Is there something I owe to the community for the things I may not care about or think about?

We filed our tax return yesterday. Uhg, I think about taxes everytime I drive through a pot hole and everytime I see my property value fall while the taxes go up. I think about taxes every time I pay 10-15% more for a hotel room than quoted at check in. And of course -you know me- I see my tax dollars go up in smoke every time a multi-million dollar missle hits a remote target in the Middle East. I know there is waste in government -each of us perhaps has a different definition of what waste is. Then I think about those kids in the CARE program and all the CARE programs, all funded by taxes of some form. It's a mess isn't it? But I know somewhere there are people of all political persuasions who are thinking about what is kind and just. They will make sure the "care programs" are there when we encounter something to big to handle alone. Won't they?